Israel trip part 1: Why Israel?

When I decided last fall to take a mission trip to Israel, many friends and family questioned why I wanted to go there. Wasn't it dangerous? Aren't you scared? What kind of church brainwashed you into going to Israel? America also needs missionaries! 

To be honest there are times when these questions feel valid. Yet my biggest question that I have asked really since I moved to Japan is Why me? What makes me significant enough that God should care for and even call me to His people? Most believers could easily count reasons why they feel unworthy of God's love or really how they failed him. I could probably count 5 times in the last day that I fell short of the glory of God. We can get caught up in our shortcomings and lose sight of God's grace. Yet that is kind of the point.

Moses: This man had a speech impediment (Exodus: 4:10) and killed a man (Exodus 2:11-15)
Jonah: He had to get swallowed by a large fish (Jonah 1:17) in order to actually follow God's call.
David: He commits adultery and has the woman's husband killed to cover it up (2 Samuel 11:5-27
Paul: He was at times the worst of all because he actually persecuted followers of Jesus (Acts 8:3). Yet he wrote some of the most profound books of the Bible when God converted him.

This list can continue on and on but the truth of it is found in what aforementioned Paul says in 2Corinthians 12:9 (that's second Corinthians for Trump fallowers haha) "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

These are just a few of the more well know examples found in the same Bible we Christians say we read. The point is we all fall short when comparing ourselves to Christ yet God chooses us in our weakness so that His strength is shown. He doesn't select the high and mighty. He selects the Davids of the world to take on the Goliaths AND WIN. Essentially this should answer the why me question for every single follower of Jesus. It's not our merits but His. Ok Greg's sermon part 1 is over. 

PART 2: Why Israel? 

Israel is a stew made from the same recipe. We're talking about a nation that is roughly the size of New Jersey. Yet, God calls Israel the"apple of His eye" in Zechariah 2:8. (Anybody every wonder where that phrase came from...mind blown? the Bible is full of great stuff). This is really an in depth question that my friends getting a masters in divinity could do a better job of answering than me. Simply, God chose Israel because His grace and love are magnified by his constant perfecting and pursuit of His people. Ask any teacher you know about that one student who finally did what you asked. An example will pop up right away and the intrinsic value the teacher felt will be unmatched. 

If I were to make an Old Testament for Dummies book it would be boiled down to this. God loves His people. Over the course of hundreds of years, these people are constantly on the pendulum of failing and turning away only to be brought back like the story of the prodigal son. 

Now let me flash forward for anybody that is still reading my thoughts, essentially I went to Israel because God loves his people. Because God loves me, He had the desire to share this joy for His people with me. One thing I've learned from Jonah is when God calls you don't let it go to voicemail. 

So what is this big majestic epiphany that God gave me because I listened and went to His holy land? It's pretty basic but not pumpkin spice latte basic (forgive me if you don't get the pop culture reference). It's a foundation principle basic. Because God loves me as He does you (reminder it's not about me but His love for me for those that skim read the beginning of this post), He wants to share with US his heart and the things He cares about. Picture sharing your favorite dessert with someone you love, it just makes it taste better. God has a love for Israel which is very evident through the Bible and through historical evidence for anybody that believes and reads about the history of Israel. 

In going to Israel, God shared His love for Israel with me and also renewed an understanding of the Bible in historical context. I could see and be at places that were Biblical but also empirically evident to those that don't believe. I often tried to look at places I went with atheistic eyes to see what a nonbeliever would see at these places. It's very difficult to connect places without the context of the Bible. Scripture speaks of locations and things that today are being unearthed by archaeologists. If the Bible has valid historical roots, then it must have validity historically. 

The other part of my journey was embracing God's Jewish communities and those that believe in Jesus as their savior. Getting a measure of understanding about the difficulty of what Israel calls being a believer in Israel, its truly remarkable to see people following the Messiah. Less than 1% of the country believes in Jesus. Yet, there is a beautiful and inspired heart that in that 1% that I got to meet. I look forward to seeing God's joy work through them as they grow. 

**This is the end of part one. I know some people really just wanted to know what I did while in Israel and wanted context to the "pretty pictures" I posted in Israel. But I thought it was important to give the context for the context. Reminder I'm just  a random guy who God inspired to search out His faith more deeply in the last 4 years. I understand if many of you scrolled through and thought this guy is crazy or lost touch with reality. I would say "yes" and "Thank you Jesus" to that. But I also pray that you take the time to truly take God, Jesus, the Bible and your faith into your hands truly whether or not you have ever believed. Pray, ask questions, visit more than just the church you grew up with. God appreciates discernment.The person you see on Sunday, can only take your faith so far and that person/church is not infallible. I often feel unsure about the direction God has in my life but am thankful for His compass. Remember God doesn't expect us to be perfect. Our imperfections are made more beautiful by His perfection. 

Stayed tuned for my thoughts on the trip!

     

My first year teaching in Texas

Hard to believe its been a year since that random trek to Texas and the 4th grade teaching job that just fell into place. I still remember the phone call from my principal. "Would you like to teach science and Texas history?" With the same spirit as a Texian who "remember(s) the Alamo", I decided to go all in and move to Texas. To be honest, looking back its truly amazing how clueless and even nervous I was to have this teaching job. Could I handle being the only male? Would I be put on a microscope because I'm new? Could I even make a proper lesson plan? Do I actually know anything about Texas?

Its funny how questions and anxieties can get the best of us but if we just keep pushing through in the direction we are led, they kind of disappear. I would say within the first month most of my random questions disappeared. I constantly went through the year going into events feeling clueless e until I showed up and just did them.

There's a million ideas circulating through my head on how to formulate this post so I figured I would do it question/answer style. A wise person once told me, "you can talk to yourself as long as you don't answer yourself. If you answer yourself you are crazy." Welp lets hope that doesn't apply to writing.

After teaching in Japan for 4 years, what is the difference from a teaching perspective between Japanese and American culture?

I could probably write a book on the differences if I took the time. Comparing Japanese schools, MeySen (A private Immersion English Academy), and my first year in Texas would be like comparing apples and meatloaf. Aside from good ol' Aunt Sally who put apples in her secret meatloaf, they just don't really compare. One thing to remember is Japan is the size of California. America is a large nation with every region so different much like the countries of Europe.

What were some differences you experienced?

In Japan, I taught kids who's parents were doctor, lawyers, professional athletes, etc. They really invested in making sure their students had the best of everything. That was actually a blessing and a curse at times. Parents were often competing with each other for who's child got the recognition and constantly watching every move. This honestly could be a similarity in some areas of the US. My Japanese students were also generally involved in a ton of extra curricular activities. They have a more busy planner than a CEO of a major corporation and they were in elementary school.  One of my students was even a professional violinist. I remember how hard she worked in everything she did, yet I could sense how much pressure she put on herself to be perfect in everything.

Teaching in America, there are few kids who are heavily involved but that's not always the norm. There are several kids who have more difficult home lives and they tend to assume a lot more responsibility in raising their siblings. There are also the few who would prefer video games and social media to actually doing things in this physical world. I recall being very surprised when I asked my Japanese students how much time they get to play video games, one boy raised his hand and told me he got an hour on the weekend and that was it. Probably the greatest difference between here and there is the diversity among the students in terms of background, interests, life experiences etc.

There are several other obvious differences. In Japan, I taught kids 6 days a week for about 300 days a year. At first, I really hated the idea of working on Saturdays but honestly got used to it pretty quickly. The job itself pretty much becomes your life. I did not really have much of a social life outside of where I worked and who I worked with. At times, it was a blessing but at times it was a curse. Honestly, the job itself was actually fun on most days so I looked forward to going to work. The other cool thing was when I left work, Peace Out...I was done.

In America, we teach about 180 days a year buuuut we put in countless hours outside of work. I spent most Sundays at Beltway Coffee grading or lesson planning as well as many other days trying to set things up. We get 50 minutes to plan but use the bathroom (finally), make a couple copies IF you don't have a meeting, phone call or e-mail  to make and all of a sudden its gone. Everything that really makes a classroom run smoothly is done on your own time and your own dime. Man do I miss having nearly 2 hours to plan and having essential supplies readily available.


What about discipline issues?

I had 16 kids in Japan. All of whom came from very similar backgrounds and usually had a strong intrinsic push to be successful. They had issues don't get me wrong but nothing even close to situations I have dealt with in America. Also, if I made a kid stand up for misbehaving that pretty much scared them from doing anything wrong.  I never once had a kid be disrespectful in  Japan.

In Texas, I had one kid in particular that told me pretty regularly "I hate school, school is boring, this class is boring." Other kids had a host of  issues I won't bring up on a blog post. There were so many unique situations this past year that made me go "What in the world?"

I feel as though I am painting out America in a bad light but let me reiterate how rewarding it is here. My Japanese kids had few issues and we enjoyed being around each other, there really wasn't much challenge in the day to day. When one of those kids in my American class who day after day misbehave all of a sudden make a complete shift, it is this feeling that I can't even explain.

One student in particular was melancholy day after day in my class and lived an emotional roller coaster. In the middle of the year after a really difficult incident, I  wondered why in the world am I putting so much effort into this kid. He slowly started doing better and better. One random day, he gave me a drawing that simply said "Mr. Z is the King of the World". He has never said one positive thing this whole year. I was ecstatic. These kids with all of their outside factors make teaching a challenge but such an incredible reward.

How is it being the only male in a school?

This truly has been a blessing being among my coworkers regardless of our gender difference. I honestly moved to Texas with nothing and no school supplies. By the beginning of the year, I had everything you could ever want and then some with very little paid for out of my pocket.  I am truly amazed at my coworkers day in and day out. The amount of work they put in outside of simply teaching their classes is just something to marvel at. On top of that, most of them have their kids with a full plate of activities. Some days I feel like I can barely take care of myself coming home from work. I can't even imagine having the energy to raise a family on top of everything else.

On top of all their involvements, they are some of the most selfless people I have met when it comes to serving others. Anytime there is a pregnancy (which we had a lot of), wedding, birthday, you name it, there were several people ready and willing to celebrate and pitch in to help. When something difficult happens in someone's life. They all are right there helping to make meals and do whatever they need to. Often extra jobs and tasks are picked up faster than they can even be offered at the school. I've honestly never seen a group of people that simply care quite like the women that I work with.

What do you miss most about your time in Japan?

It always comes down to the people. I really miss my students and not being able to see them grow. I miss friends I have made and just simply miss being a random American immersed in a different culture than my own. I also really miss having assistants. I forgot what it is like having to make my own appointments, actually having conversations with a doctor, and having a lady named Mia take care of all my emails and conversations with parents for me.

In the end, I am truly glad I had my time there but am so thankful to be exactly where I am at. I know God called me right to Abilene, Texas for a reason. A year ago, I had no clue. Right now, I feel present and engaged in the life I'm living. I'm heading to Israel in less than a month for a mission trip! Life is still an adventure and God is continuing to be faithful in growing me to become exactly who He wants me to be and exactly where He wants me to be. Like Farmer Fran tells Joe Dirt "Home is Where You Make it." I am home!

Christian and Muslim Coexisting My NZ New Years encounter

Especially at a time when there is such a heated debate about prejudice and hating people based on their beliefs. I found myself reflecting on my New Years Day encounter 2 years ago in Auckland, New Zealand. Disclaimer: Though the message is good don't do exactly what I did because the world is not always sunshine and rainbows.

New Years Day 2014

I was feeling the effects of having a dance club connected to my hostel in Aukland. I had stayed out until 3 and did not sleep nearly enough. The day after New Years I planned on flying out to Wellington to check out the LOTR sets and enjoy the city (side note:check out Te Papa museum if you are ever there.) Since my flight left at 6 am I got a really cheap hostel 5 mi from the airport. So in my exhausted state, I decided I wanted to go straight to my hostel and sleep the day away. I got to the hostel and was not at all what I expected. It was more like a motel that had random rooms spread along its campus. It was also run completely by people from India. I only note this to share that I just wasn't expecting to stumble into a hostel that is run by people not from New Zealand.

Anyway, I get to my room and barely listened to what he was saying I was so tired. The building he took me to had about 5 beds in a room and I was the only person there. I thought cool, I'm going to pass out and life will be great. The guy tells me to pick any bed or so I thought. I pass out on a bed in the middle of the room...

I wake up to an angry 40 year old middle eastern man glaring at me. I think I'm dreaming. He starts saying "What are you doing in my bed? That is my bed. Get out!" I was just in shock as I am sure he was seeing someone in his bed. Come to find out he was already there earlier and just didn't have his stuff on his bed. I quickly moved and contemplated about how I should probably avoid this guy. Now I'm stuck at this hostel apartment that fits about 20 people and its just me and the person who I rubbed my American germs all over his bed with nowhere to go. I figured I was really doing a great job of relieving stereotypes about Americans.

It was one the most awkward situations I found myself in during my travels. While I sat in the living area, I overheard this lady trying to fire this guy for being lazy and swearing at him on speaker phone. I felt like I had stumbled into this alternate reality. I went outside to avoid all his dirty laundry and couldn't help but laugh at the situation I had myself caught in.

I eventually went back and sat in the living area and the guy sits down across from me. I was thinking about how this couldn't have gotten any more awkward. All of a sudden, he starts talking to me. He explained the situation on the phone and offered some bread and mozzarella cheese. Forgetting my lesson about not taking things from strangers I just jumped right at it. He asked me for advice about a new business venture and asked me to send an e-mail for him on his computer in English because he always makes mistakes. Then he told me he would take me around town and show Auckland.

In my mind, I was thinking about the ways I could politely say nope. Its usually the set up for a joke or a news story: Christian man gets in a car with Muslim. He told me he had to run some errands and would come back and pick me up. I told him I was fine just staying there.

He came back about an hour later and said he was ready to go. Against any better judgement and to this day I think why in the world would I ever get in a strange man's car especially given all prejudices perpetuated by the media and Donald Trump, but lo and behold I got in the car. He told me he wanted to introduce me to his Iranian friend. I realize my passport is in my pocket. Internally, I'm thinking I survived a 9.0 earthquake and this is where I meet my maker. On the outside, we started chatting and had honestly great conversation. His friend wasn't home so we just drove around town. We discussed similarities of Islam and Christianity and talked about how it's important to care about people even when they don't share the same beliefs. We both had very different beliefs yet we could coexist and even become friends.

I look at all that is in the media and feel the fear perpetuated about people that are different from us. This constantly shown from several examples: the shootings of black teens by police officers and both sides see it in two different eyes. People fearing others because they have different beliefs. Democrats and Republicans keeping the country from true progress because they can't play nicely. Yet the truth that gets brought out by my New Years hangover story is that beyond all our stereotypes and hatred if we just take time to sit and break bread with people we may not agree with, then we can peacefully coexist and potentially help each other out. I pray that 2016 is a year that we can all not simply set aside our differences but honestly embrace them, share them, and beyond that realize we don't have to agree to care for and help each other as human beings. 

Having a Thankful heart

In this season of thanksgiving, I find myself realizing I have so much to be thankful for much like my favorite song we sang at Praise Community Church 感謝の心 "Thankful Heart".  Often it's so easy to overlook blessings. When things go good, we become accustomed to it and almost desensitized.

It reminds me of my first year in Japan. We were celebrating Tanabata (it's a huge summer festival especially in Sendai where I lived). At the end of the festival, there are fireworks. Well in this year particularly, Sendai went through a tragedy in the form of an Earthquake, tsunami, not to mention a nuclear meltdown down the road (several miles). So many people were lost and so many tears were shed in this area. Through this, Sendai endured and reached this celebratory festival. I say all this to reach my small point...we had fireworks for literally an hour and a half!!

 I'm not just talking random fireworks but grand finale style fireworks. Most people that have never experienced this would think wow that's amazing. But after about 30 minutes you start feeling desensitized to the amazingly beautiful display going on overhead. You start going to the bathroom, getting food, having conversations with friends all but ignoring the abundant work of cosmic art above your head.

When things are in abundance, it's so easy to forget about thankfulness. How often am I simply thankful for water? How often am I thankful for air that passes though my body as I sit here? It's so easy to be blinded by blessings or start to expect them as one of those "unalienable rights" our founding fathers talked about.

Yet when I find myself lost at sea yearning for freshwater to drink and spot a random case of Aquafina floating in the distance, I'm two stepping my thanks and praising Jesus as it comes closer.

It is through these moments that I continually need to humble myself before the LORD and simply be thankful for his grace.

For several years, I have felt so lost which is partially why I moved to Japan in the first place. Wondering why everyone around me seems so settled and life seems to just flow for them. Yet for me, I felt alone, lost and wondering what my place in this world was. It was through these moment that I felt Him saying stop worry you are exactly where you need to be.

There have been so many things I have second guessed or things I wish I had done differently that it's easy to get caught up in the pain of hindsight and not see the beauty beyond the fog ahead.

I sit here in my apartment ahead of my first Thanksgiving in America in 5 years, ready to celebrate it with people I never knew existed months ago. I vividly remember wondering and worrying about moving to Texas thinking that I had completely gone crazy deciding to move here. Yet I can look back at so many moments and things in the few months I have been here and simply say "WOW".

It's so easy to be caught up in the fear of the unknown but today I choose to be thankful for the journey He has put me on. It's crazy to look at the adventures and the things I've been blessed to experience and share with people. I'm thankful for His grace in those moments of fear and panic that pull me away. His steadfast hand keeps pushing me forward into these situations that I embrace building up the amazing journey that is life.


“Praise the Lord, all nations! Extol him, all peoples! For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭117:1-2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Kansha no Kokoro 感謝の心

Updates "Jesus is amazing Y'all"

Ok so I have yet to naturally say the words "y'all" without throwing a "yeeha" or "there's a snake in my boots" reference but I have slowly gotten accustomed to this world I now live in. One day in particular, I was walking into Wal-Mart  (forgive me its convenient) wearing a sweatshirt and thought man its getting cold. I looked at the temperature...80 degrees. 80 in Michigan, I would be at the beach with an ice cold beverage singing Kumbaya. On top of that along with several hundred dollars, my license plate now says Texas on it. I'm really just missing a pair of cowboy boots and nice Ford pick-up truck.

As I get used to my surroundings, I've been reflecting on the journey  God has brought me through in life, growing up in Michigan to randomly move to Japan after graduating, a devastating Earthquake, 4 years in a foreign culture and randomly resting myself here in Abilene, Texas. Honestly, its still hard for me to believe that I took this job here without ever even setting foot in Texas. I vividly remember a conversation with my brother, Ryan, last March before I left Japan wondering where life will lead us to at the same time next year. It seems to be the journey I don't foresee is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

The greatest growth I have felt within me even often at the cost of my pride and desires at times has been in the direction of the LORD.  Please don't read the last sentence as me being prideful thinking I am so great but truly amazed at His renewal that has etched its way into me. Often Jesus was found through the trials, earthquakes, loneliness,  and anxiety but always consistently, patiently waiting for me to just simply say "Here's my life Lord and let your will be done." Unfortunately, pride gets its way in front of that statement thinking I deserve something else when foolishly I realize that there is really nothing else better than a relationship with Him. I mean this apart from politics, religion and how your neighbor thinks you should believe...a real genuine place. It reminds me of this song "You have me" by Gungor.  Check it out if you haven't heard it.

If you find yourself extremely bored, you can see the transition God brought through my blog in which my first post in Japan in 2011 was "Day 1: Man These Toilets are Awesome!" and somewhere through the sarcasm and random posts I found myself writing about my pursuit of God. My whole point here is that God has taken me on a journey in this life and will continue to take me further along in that journey and I pray that my pursuits in life lead me closer to a stronger relationship with Him and truly be a man of Christ and not just somebody who talks about it. In recognizing this, I made the decision that this Sunday I will be Baptized. This in noway takes away from my Christian pursuits before this baptism but holds firm that ground I walk on as this journey of life continues to shine as I outwardly celebrate through baptism the faith that has been built up within me. I pray that this step helps me to continue to walk on the water that is belief. I could definitely use prayers as this is only but a step in life God has called me to. 

Outsourced in the Country of Texas

Well its been a long time since I posted anything on here. For a while, I thought I'd stop but enjoy randomly coming back and reading it like a journal that friends and family can see if they want.

TRANSITION:

Its been a lot of transition in this whole moving back to America. For the first month or so it was really hard. Japan kind of became what I knew and America was like this foreign land. I actually kind of liked not being able to understand what others around me were saying for the past 4 years. It makes things a little more peaceful.

I took some time to travel right before coming home as an extended layover style ticket which I felt was super smart and cost me next to nothing. I flew from Tokyo to Atlanta to Orlando to Grand Rapids all for about the same price as flying to Michigan.

Luckily, though it wasn't easy coming home, I had so many people that stepped up and just helped me out without thinking twice about it. Its hard to have to humble yourself for a month or two after living on your own in a different culture for the past 4 years. Yet, there were so many people who opened their homes to me. I felt truly blessed and was able to accomplish something I longed for while in Japan. That was to spend quality time with great people I missed the last 4 years.

"So you lived in Japan for 4 years? Why did you leave? You're moving to Abilene, Texas from Michigan? Why don't you just teach in Michigan?"

I've heard a million different spins to these questions pretty much every time I meet somebody. I've tried to think of some interesting answers. But the truth is really simple, It is time and the move just kind of felt right.

Coming home, I really had no clue what I wanted to do. Should I go back to school? Should I move to a new country? Should I teach or try something else new?

Just to have a glimpse of my thought process here are job offers/opportunities that appeared out of thin air that I turned down for different reasons: teach in Korea, teach in Egypt, work for AAA travel agency, work for a traveling health program for kids, teach in Dubai, teach in Korea again (they must really need teachers). Honestly, coming home I didn't truly know I wanted to be an elementary teacher. But I thought it was worth pursuing. I also knew that I wanted to get outside of my hometown and live in a new place. So I applied all over the place for teaching jobs pretty much haphazardly looking for good schools in areas as well as international education opportunities. I also strongly believe its not what you know but you know in pursuing a job so I reached out to friends that were teachers in other states.

 Low and behold there was a teaching opportunity in Abilene, Texas. I should mention I knew very little to nothing about this area before I applied.  I just knew it was in Texas and had friends that went to college there. That's honestly it. But I did research the school and the area a little bit as I found out I got an interview (I'm not that crazy). The interview went well enough that I got the job a few days later. I took the weekend to think about it but I never found myself passing it up. So that brings me to sitting here in Abilene preparing for the new school year as a 4th grade Science and Social Studies teacher.

I'm slowly trying to figure out my classroom while at the same time trying to figure out why they have these roads that ride parallel to the highway everywhere and what exactly is in the green dip sauce at the grocery store. It's a lot to take in and a new adventure for sure. I could definitely use prayers in this transition and settling down here in this country they call Texas. I'll update y'all soon! 

Things I've Learned Living as a Bachelor

I wrote this a couple years ago but never posted it.

Before moving to Japan, I've always lived with roommates, family etc. There's always been someone around. In that absence at the end of the day,  you discover a lot about yourself and how to function. Here's a few random things I've learned in the two years I've lived alone.

1.Dishes suck! No matter how many times I tell myself I'm going to wash my dishes right after I use them, they inevitably sit in their own filth until it smells like a baby crawled over to your sink and threw its diapers down your drain.

2. There are many very useful household items that can serve other purposes when you can't find a clean one (see above):

•  The handle of a spoon or fork makes a great knife. Not only can you eat your cereal but you can butter your toast with the same utensil.  
• Speaking of cereal, if its round and holds milk, it can be a bowl. Also, if it can be a bowl it can be a cup. 
• Chairs make great clothing racks. If you got a Japanese closet like me there is not enough space for hangers. 

3. There is a reason your mom separates your lights from your darks. Trust me. I have enough brownish, faded dark shirts or greyish white shirts to realize this. Yet I still throw it all in together and hoping the laundry fairy will magically wash them separately. Also, bleach isn't that scary.

4. Check expiration dates when you shop. Usually they put things that will expire soon toward the front of the shelf when you can have a whole extra week before it smells bad in your fridge if you dig for the back ones. (Don't forget to check expiration dates before you eat the food too.)

... now the real stuff

5. You get to discover who you are not who people think you are. Its really easy to get caught up in what people think about you and trying to portray yourself in a way that makes you fit with what people want you to be like. But when you are living alone, you can see your real side both good and bad. Sometimes you will discover that you are good at things. Sometimes you realize how lazy you really are. 

6. You get to grow. So often when I get caught up in other peoples perception of me. I get used to being what others think of me than who I really am. But when you find out what you're like when no one is watching you can start to grow on your own. For example, if you are lazy and out of shape. If you can get yourself motivated to run without anybody telling you to, then you will actually do it consistently.